If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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