Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm sobbing to NWA
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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