We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
