So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
