that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize