i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
