try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize