Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
