Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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