Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
