My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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