The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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