ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
