when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
