he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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