the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
