I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she smelled like a LAN party
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
