I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
