My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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