Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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