hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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