Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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