she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
