This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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