i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Panties = found
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