And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
