Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just gift wrapped bread.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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