and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
