its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
