You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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