Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i think my cat just said my name.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize