I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
