just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
