But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
