You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
