so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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