In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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