she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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