i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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