He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
