Need sex. Gaining weight.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
