overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
