Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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