I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
