im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
