my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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