youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
