Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize