Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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