update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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