this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
operation have a gay friend backfired
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
