yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
