I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
