I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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