I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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