I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
