so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
