Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
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I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
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he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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