I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
