So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ketchup is God's man juice
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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